8 reasons why Christians (and others) don't come to church.

One of the most frustrating things for me in the entire world is that pastors, and faithful church members, spend so much time trying to convince "Christians" to come to church. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I wouldn't have to beg or convince a basketball player to go to the gym. I wouldn't have to beg a fisherman to go to the lake. Why in the world the world do I have to beg a Christian to come to church? Think with me as I explore some possibilities.

1. They are scared. Not to be confused with "scarred". I'm sure you've heard the expression about the roof falling in on the guy's head as soon as he walks in the church because of his horrible lifestyle. Although it is a bit of an exaggeration, I think some people literally believe that. They actually believe God is displeased, even angry, with the life they are living and the first chance He gets, He's taking them out. Little do they know, if that was the case, God is not limited to church walls. The psalmist says it best in 139:8, "If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the grave, You are there" (NLT). Fortunately for us, and them, "God is love" (1 John 4:8). Maybe they are afraid of funny looks or being underdressed. I don't what else, but I'm certain that some people are literally afraid to come inside.

2. They are scarred. They went to church for years as a child, but then they realized the deacons went to a strip club every Thursday night. Those guys who were so "holy and nice" on Sunday turned out to be only "whitewashed tombs" (Matthew 23:27), filled with evil and hypocrisy. They went to church for years, then their parents died early. They went to church for years, then the preacher ran off with the piano player. They went to church for years, then caught their spouse cheating. They went to church for years, then a fistfight broke out in a business meeting and caused the whole church to split. They are scarred. They had a horrible experience and don't plan on giving any second chances. Reopening the wound isn't worth it. And neither is creating an opportunity for another one.

3. The church is known for judgment, not grace. They got convicted of murder. They got convicted of theft. They used to be a stripper. They have tattoos up one arm and down the other. They think they know what the people are going to say, "you don't belong here"or "you're not welcome here". Maybe it's not even through words, just those looks out of the corner of their eyes while they whisper to their neighbor in their Sunday best. People see the church as more of a prison, than a hospital. They see the church wounding and not healing. They see condemnation and not freedom. They see the law, but never the Gospel.

4. They simply aren't saved. The church is for christians. Are those outside of Christ welcome? Absolutely! But we come to worship the One True God. We come to exalt and lift up His name, the name of Jesus, the only name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). We come to serve Him, to be His hands, feet, and mouth. We come to use our gifts that He has freely given (Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12). We come to testify to the truth of the Gospel and it's saving power. We come to be fed by the Bread of Life, which is God's Good and Perfect Word. We come to love on others, the "brothers" as the apostle John calls them repeatedly in 1 John. People who aren't saved don't have any desire to do any of these things, in fact, they "cannot" according to Romans 8:7.

5. They feel guilty. Since "there is none righteous, no not one" (Romans 3:10), all people experience guilt. Not just any guilt, but specifically guilt over sin. Guilt comes from breaking the law of God. It could be one of the Ten Commandments, it could be something from the Sermon on the Mount, or it could be any failure to obey one of the many principles laid out in the epistles. The totality of the Bible is God's Word and makes up the law of God. When we break any of them, we feel bad because we were not created to break them, but instead we were created to live by them. People think they can run from guilt by staying away from God's church and His people. Thankfully, we all "show that the law is written on [our] hearts, while [our] conscience also bears witness" (Romans 2:15). There is no outrunning guilt.

6. They are selfish. (Also known as lazy.) "Listen I work from 7-5 Monday through Friday and from 7-12 on Saturday. The last thing I want to do on my day off is have somewhere else to be." "It's my only day to sleep in." "It's my only time to go grocery shopping." "My kids are gone to their dad's and this is the only alone time I have all week." How many times have you heard these? Sometimes people simply love their self more than Jesus.

7. They are ignorant. I am by no means calling anyone stupid or dumb. Ignorance could also be thought of as "uneducated". It simply means, they don't know any better. No one has taken the time to sit down and teach them about their need to be involved with a local congregation.

8. They think they can make it alone. "I meet with God everyday." " I pray everyday." "Me and God, we got our own thing worked out. He knows how I am and that I don't like to be around many other people." Some people actually believe that God cuts deals with individuals, contrary to His revealed Word. Others think as long as they have a time where they talk to God on a regular basis, everything is ok. Many say "just because I don't go to church, doesn't mean I'm not a christian". What they don't understand is this, most of the New Testament letters are written to the church and can only be understood and interpreted in that context. They apply specifically to the church. If people weren't supposed to gather together as a church, we wouldn't have a New Testament in our Bible.

I don't know which one of these is you. I hope none of them. But if one of them is you, let me encourage you to find a church and attend it regularly. Not just any church, not just the one closest to your house. It doesn't even have to be the one your grandmother goes to. Just find a church that teaches the Bible. Find a church that preaches the Gospel. Find a church where you can feel God's presence. Find a church where you are welcome, where you are loved, where you can serve. It might not even be the first one you go to. If it's not, keep going to others, keep looking, keep searching. Don't miss a service. The first time you do, it will get easier and easier to miss more and more until eventually you find yourself on the couch watching Joel Osteen (God forbid!).

Trust me, you cannot maintain a healthy, vibrant, growing relationship with Jesus Church without a local church family. You need grace, accountability, love, friends who are likeminded, a place to serve, biblical preaching, and biblical conversations. You need a church family. It will change your life!

What about you? Why don't you go to church? What are some reasons or excuses you have heard others use to stay out of church? What are the ones you used yourself in the past?  

As always, I would love to hear from you! Comment here, reach me on Facebook, or write me by email at jasonwcarney@yahoo.com .

6 Reasons You May Not Be Trusted

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." If you are a student of the Bible you probably know this verse by heart. Of course it's Proverbs 3:5. It was actually the text God led me to preach my very first sermon ever on (or maybe it was the only one I was capable of trying to explain at the time lol). It's one that, as followers of Jesus, we stand on continually. Sometimes we don't know what's going on in our life, we don't know where to turn, and we don't know what's next. We only hold tight to this word from God Himself. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's easy. The same is true when we are dealing with people. Sometimes it's easy to trust them, sometimes its not. Although we are commanded to trust God in many places in the Bible, no where are we commanded to trust one another. We may expect it, but never receive it. Why is that? I want to suggest a few reasons why there is a lack of trust among people, maybe even you.

1) New. You're the new guy. Hardly anyone trusts the new guy. No matter what the position is. Sure there is a basic level of trust extended to most all humans, but Donald Trump isn't going to hand a money bag with $50,000 cash in it to someone he hired yesterday to take it to the bank. Likewise, most people don't go over to their new neighbor's house spilling all their martial problems. Sometimes the reason you aren't trusted is simply because you are new.

2) Unexperienced. I mowed this one yard down at the golf course for probably 8 years. It was the trickiest yard I have ever mowed on a weekly basis. It was steep all the way around the entire house. The worst part was in the back. There was a strip of grass in the back we maintained that was about 50-60ft wide in the skinniest part. It was between the house and about an 80ft drop off that you can barely walk on. At the bottom of the drop off was a pond and the pond was full of snapping turtles. The snapping turtles weren't really the bad part. It's the fact that if someone made one mistake on the mower, they would go down that drop off into the pond below. One mistake and it was bye bye employee and mower, hello workers' comp and general liability insurance claims. Needless to say, I was the only one to mow that part for quite some time. Eventually, when I had more experienced help, I allowed them to mow that part. However, I would never ever allow someone who had never been on a zero turn mow that part. It's not necessarily that you can't do whatever needs doing, its more that people want to feel comfortable and confident that you can do what needs to be done. Sometimes people don't trust you because you are unexperienced.

3) Failure. Some people have messed up and everyone knows about it. They've lied. They've cheated. They've stolen. People know it. Sure it may have been in the past. Sure people may have forgiven them. However, they still aren't willing to trust them. They aren't willing to leave their car unlocked with the person around. They've been proven "untrustworthy". Sometimes people don't trust you because of your failure.

4) Reputation. Some people are known for a string of failures and/or mistakes. And it wasn't just once. It has been time, after time, after time. You and I both know of people who have not just one DUI, but two, three, or maybe even four. And because of multiple offenses, they have now made a reputation for themselves. They are known as a drunk driver. The police know what they drive. They know what bar they hang out at. They probably even know who they were there with. Why? Because of their reputation. Sometimes people don't trust you because of your reputation.

5) Position. Raise your hand if you trust every politician in government office right now. Raise your hand if you trust any politician in government office right now. I didn't see any hands at all. My point exactly. The unfortunate part is it's not only politicians. (Many times this "position" distrust is directly tied to personal experience also.)

Maybe you have been to three different doctors in the past week and received three different diagnoses. Which one do you trust? You trust the one who you find out was right. The other two.....you tell all your friends and family about how wrong they were and about how that medicine he gave you resulted in really bad gas.

Several months back I ran into a family who wouldn't allow their kids to come to church on the church van but I knew the kids wanted to come. So what did I do? I did what every good youth pastor should do....I went to their house. After probably an hour of conversation about everything from the weather to Free Will Baptist doctrine (and never being invited inside on a really cold night), I got to the bottom of the issue. The youth pastor at the church where they had previously attended got caught with one of the teenage girls doing inappropriate things. He was fired. They haven't been to church since. Sometimes people don't trust you because of the position you are in.

6) Self. Some people don't trust others because they don't trust their own self. They know their own wicked thoughts. They know their own shortcomings and struggles. If I couldn't trust myself to tell the truth, how could I ever trust someone else to tell it? You can't. One key to being able to trust others is trusting ourself. It's repenting of sin in our lives. It's minimizing our failures. It's getting our reputation back to one of integrity. It's doing right no matter what others in our same position are doing. When we do these things, we can trust ourself and that allows us to trust others.

These are just a few thoughts that come to my mind about why people may or may not trust you. Some of these can be avoided, some can't. It all depends on the territory and nature of your situation. I hope you are trusted. I hope I am trusted. And no matter what, trust Jesus. He never fails.

What about you? What is a reason you don't trust a certain person or group of people? What is a reason you found yourself not being trusted by others?