"Family Ministry Field Guide" Book Review

Finished my second book of the Moscow trip. It is called "Family Ministry Field Guide". It was written by Timothy Paul Jones, who is professor of leadership and church ministry at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. What wisdom this man has revealed in this terrific, church changing work!

First of all, this book is definitely written for pastors, deacons, and other church leaders. Not that laymen wouldn't benefit from it, it is just a ministry foundation type of book. Dr. Jones has written to pastors and leaders urging them to mold churches into what God intended them to be in the first place, gospel-centered, disciple-making and family-equipping.

There is quite a bit of discussion in this book about youth ministry, programs, and segregation within the church. He goes so far as to say, "the purpose of student ministry is to gain and retain youth by entertaining them until the time comes for them to serve the church as an adult" (pg. 54). He points to the fact that our "standard of success becomes attendance and retention, and the central focus becomes finding the right ministers and methods to attract the highest numbers" (pg. 54). He is not bashing today's church or youth ministry, only calling for a reformation back to what we find in the Bible.

With much biblical evidence, the entire book is driven by a conviction that parents should be the "primary disciple-makers in their children's lives", as opposed to the church or pastors. He uses this phrase several times to support his argument, "the gospel is rehearsed in families and reinforced at church so that God's truth can be revealed to the world". That is some stone cold truth if I've ever heard it!

Here are some main issues in the book that really stood out to me:

1. "Discovering who your children really are." This is in light of God's big story, the story Dr. Jones argues that we generally only see half of when it comes to parenting. The big story is this: creation, fall, redemption, and consummation. Jones says, "God's creation and humanity's fall have positioned parents as providers and disciplinarians. Through redemption and consummation, parents are called to be disciple-makers as well" (pg. 79). Also under this heading of "discovering who your children are" is the idea that we view our children as not only children, but also brothers and sisters in Christ. To me, this was profound!
2. "Parenting with my grandchildren in mind" (pg. 87). If you view your children as brothers and sisters, you are able to disciple and "guide their spiritual formation" so that your impact and the gospel's impact "outlast [your] time on this earth".
3. "Family Worship." Unfortunately, most families don't have this time together. Usually for two main reasons, they don't make time and they don't know how. This is the focal point of the entire book. Much time is spent addressing this problem.
4. "Faith Talks, Faith Walks, and Faith Processes." This is the answer for family worship. It's not difficult, however, it is intentional and never happens by accident. A faith talk is a time, at least one night a week, where all members of the family come together, read and discuss Scripture, and pray. It could even be about the sermon or Sunday school lesson from last Sunday. It's that simple. It doesn't have to last an hour and it will look different for all families. Some may do it in the morning after breakfast, some before supper or some at bedtime. The point is to actually do it....consistently. Faith walks are times in daily life where you intentionally turn the conversation toward the gospel. It may be a homeless man on the street. It may be a momma bird feeding a worm to her babies. Just anything in your daily activities to teach your child about the Word of God. Faith processes are plans and/or goals for your child's spiritual growth. They are specific to each child depending on their age and understanding. They could be anything from baby dedication to memorizing the Lord's Prayer.
5. "Building a 'Family-Equipping Church' takes years." This does not happen overnight. It is almost completely foreign to most of our churches and especially to our parents. My prayer is that soon all churches will be working toward a fully biblical model as laid out in this book by Dr. Jones.
6. Dr. Jones has not just written a bunch of information and theory. He gives many questions for discussion. He lays out a plan. He has found others implementing this same philosophy of ministry. And most importantly, he has practiced this himself.

In conclusion, I highly recommend that all leaders in every church dive into this book. My book is full of underlined gems. However, I must warn you to be ready to have your toes stepped on. Be ready to think outside of the typical contemporary (or traditional) church of this day that has every program and age separated out. Most of all, be ready to start this transformation in your own house. I will leave you with the most powerful words in the entire book. They are intended for leaders but implied to all parents throughout the book. They are not just for pastors. You could easily replace the word "pastor" or "ministry leader" to "parent" as you read.

"The problem for a significant proportion of pastors and ministry leaders is that they see their churches, and even their communities, in light of the people's need for the gospel, but they fail to see their own families from this same perspective. They see the needs of those who are far, but they don't see the same needs in those who are nearest to them. (Here is where it really gets down to business!) The student minister spends six months mapping out every detail of a weeklong youth camp. The volunteer in middle school ministry meets early every Monday morning to pray with a half dozen sixth graders about their week at school. The pastor is present at every community outreach event, and everyone praises his clear vision for the church's future. Yet the student minister can't seem to carve out a half hour each week to talk with his family about living in light of the gospel. The middle school prayer leader hasn't prayed with her husband in more than a decade. And, outside of keeping the children in church and hoping none of them does anything that causes a public scandal, neither the pastor nor the pastor's spouse has any clear vision for his children's spiritual formation. In most cases, the root of these patterns is not deliberate rebellion against God. It is a misplaced perspective that fails to see the home as the ministry leader's first context for ministry. As a result, ministry leaders try to do ministry in their churches and communities without first becoming ministers in their own households."

 

"Orphanology" Book Review

One thing I really love about traveling is all the reading I get to do. A couple of weeks ago I started a book called "Orphanology" by Tony Merida and Rick Morton. I finished it on the way over to Moscow (and got halfway through my next book). I would love to start to do some book reviews/summaries of some of the books I read and really enjoy. I can think of no better one to start on than "Orphanology".

Most of you probably know mine and my wife's heart about adoption. In fact, within 12 hours I should be seeing my second adopted son, Heath, again. This makes the second time seeing him. The first time was in April. I really felt like it was my responsibility to read this book due to its nature.

This was a very good read for anyone going through an adoption, wanting to learn more about adoption, orphan care, orphan hosting, or foster care. Also for those trying to find ways to tangibly help the fatherless outside of actually adopting. I would also highly recommend the book for anyone in ministry. It has a theological beginning and then works its way into the practical ways any church can get involved with bringing justice to the fatherless.

The first chapter was my favorite because of the discussion of the doctrine of adoption as found in the New Testament. They communicate an understanding of both "vertical" adoption and "horizontal" adoption. Horizontal adoption is when people adopt other people. Vertical adoption is when God adopts us into His family, by grace, through faith in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth. You would be amazed at all of the similarities between the two.

I won't spoil them all but just to get your wheels turning, here is one. Adoption is costly. I can vouch for that! Depending on what country you go to, you can pretty much guarantee spending between $20,000 and $50,000. That's a lot of cheese!!! Thankfully God provides every step of the way because horizontal adoption is His will. One of the ways He has provided for my family is by putting awesome people like YOU in my life! Practically everyone I know has contributed to our adoption in some way or another and I THANK YOU for that! In a similar way, vertical adoption is costly (and God's will) also. In fact, it cost God so much that He sent His only Son to take the punishment you and I deserve, which is physical death and eternal suffering. Jesus did die for us. But He also bore that suffering we deserve in a moment's time for every man, woman, boy, and girl in the entire world on the Cross at Calvary. And now because of that high price paid by Jesus, "it is finished" (John 19:30), and we can be joint heirs with Him in eternity (Romans 8:17). Tell me that wasn't a high price!

The book touches several different aspects of adoption and orphan care. Here are a few:

1. The theology of adoption.
   
2. God's concern for the fatherless as revealed in the Scriptures.
3. What our concern should look like for the fatherless, individually and corporately.
4. Adoption as "Plan A", not "Plan B".
5. Leading and creating a local church culture that reaches out to orphans.
6. The church partnering with orphanages locally and globally, even if it is not through mission trips, but through giving and prayer.
7. Training for church laypeople on adoption and orphan care.
8. Starting an adoption funding program in your local church.
9. Supporting all aspects of an adoption.
10. The church and its need to reach out to local orphans through foster care.
11. Supporting those who are in the transition of bringing home an adopted child or a foster child.
12. How to do orphan hosting, which is the opposite of a mission trip. It is actually where orpahns come to you for a period of about two weeks.
13. Also at the end of each chapter is a personal adoption story. Those are always good to hear!

In conclusion, I will quote Tony Merida's words that I couldn't have said better myself. They brought (and still bring) tears to my eyes. (By the way, Joshua is the child in Ethiopia he was adopting at the time he was finishing up writing this book.) "We wrote this book because there are more than 140 million Joshua's in the world today. I know I'll see some of them in a few days. In fact, the hardest part about adopting for me isn't living in a different country, eating different food, spending a lot of money, or rearranging some things in my home and life to make room for another child. The most heart-wrenching aspect of adopting Joshua will be leaving behind other kids. I still remember the day we left Ukraine, and the sight of the wonderful children watching us drive away. It was a sobering reminder that the world is not as it should be."

I will see, with my own two eyes, something very similar tomorrow in the heart of Moscow. Satan has those kids right where he wants them.

I pray that you would find your place in "bringing justice to the fatherless" (Isaiah 1:17) sooner rather than later. It's what the Gospel is all about, you are living proof (Ephesians 1:5).

 

Bring Justice

I just changed the name of my blog to "Bring Justice". That is the portion of Isaiah 1:17 regarding the fatherless. God has always been concerned for the fatherless. It is not only a James 1:27 principle.

Maybe I can leave the title like this forever! I am just so fired up about leaving! We leave for Washington DC at 1:15. Then as soon as we land, we are off to catch another flight to Moscow. We are actually going to be cutting it pretty close catching that flight. I hope we make it!

We are heading over to go to court in Moscow for our second adoption. This is the second out of three trips for us on this journey. Although he will not be coming home with us this time, we will be back on Thursday, Lord willing, as the proud official parents of Heath James Carney. This is the most important trip of the three because of the court appearance. It is there where we will go before the Russian judge and be questioned about our motives for adopting, capabilities of providing for him, and so on. He or she will either grant us custody or not right there on the spot. When we adopted Hudson, this was a pretty anxious time as the judge was concerned about our young age. Hopefully this time will be a little smoother, but it is definitely not guaranteed.

Please pray especially for our court on Wednesday. Pray also for our travel and safety! Don't forget to pray also for Lindsey! She has a hard time both ways. She hates leaving our two at home for several days in a row. And then hates leaving Heath over there in the orphanage for another month until we are allowed to go back to get him. Not that it's easy for me, it's just especially hard on a GOOD mother. Thank you!!!

You can follow me on Facebook or Twitter for occasional updates! Jason Carney on Facebook, @jasonwcarney on Twitter, or you can also subscribe to the blog by entering your email address in the box that says "subscribe via email" on the side of this page. You can also find (probably better) updates on Lindsey's blog, www.carneyadoption.blogspot.com!

 

It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

It's five o'clock somewhere! At least every hour on the hour that is true. Alan Jackson's song echoes a theme of the everyday working man and woman this day in time. That theme is "Let's go to the house! ASAP! I need to get this work pressure behind me and get on with real life! 'Pour me something tall and strong,'" as the song goes. It is not hard to see that relaxation, recreation, and entertainment are highly valued in our culture and hard work, responsiblility, repetition, and consistency out the window.

In the series I have been doing with the teenagers at church, I have been addressing some the things that culture has a backwards view on. KROW is one of them. Work is a burden, a distraction, and just flat out holding people back from what they really want to do. But is that the picture of work we see in the Bible?

Here are three quick points from the Bible that teach us about work. I hope they are fruitful for you personally as you fight the same war all believers fight against "the course of this world" (Ephesians 2:2).

1. God created you to work. "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." We have the account of God creating all that exists in Genesis Chapter 1. Shortly after, in Genesis chapter 2, we have a "zoom in" (as I like to call it) on the day He created man and woman. One thing we see from that day is that God put the man in the garden He had created earlier (2:8). And verse 15 goes even further to say that God "put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it". One thing we must be careful to remember about this particular passage is, the Fall had not yet happened. This was when the creation and everything in it was still perfect. So, we see that in God's perfect plan for creation, man had a purpose and a job. I don't think it was exactly like what you might think though, because we see the sweat, thorns, and thistles come in later in verses 18-19 of chapter 3. The point is, man worked before the Fall, showing us that work is a good thing.

2. Your health demands you to work. It's no coincidence that there is a higher demand for psychologists and psychiatrists than ever before! There are a great deal of people in America who are unemployed. Some of them are not by choice, but I would say well over half of those are by choice. They probably wouldn't confess that openly but their actions prove otherwise. People who don't work lack purpose, stability, and meaning in their life. This is why many people end up depressed and/or going down roads of alcohol, affairs, drugs, addictions, etc bringing them to the offices of these psychologists. The Proverbs are full of instrucution to avoid idleness, laziness, and not working. My favorite is probably 24:30-34. There are many more. Another strong one is found in 28:19.

Also, not only does our spiritual and emotional health demand us to work, so does our physical health!

3. Your family needs you to work. Paul told Timothy, "if anyone does not provide for his realtives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8). God requires you to take care of others in your family.....simple as that.

Even though there is very little discussion on these points, I hope you can see that the Bible clearly values work and the need for all people to work and have purpose in their life. Hopefully, in the near future I will write the practical side of all this that was part two of the lesson.

As always, your comments are welcome, both positive and negative!

 

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Springsteen

My daughter absolutely loves the new Eric Church song, "Springsteen" (listen to it by clicking the song title). She calls it "my song" because we all have our own favorites. For example, one of Hudson's favorites right now is "Every Move I Make" by Great Worship Songs for kids. She especially loves the Eric Church song because at the end there is a little melody that he sings without words (if that is possible, maybe hums is a better word). Listen to the song. You'll figure out what I'm talking about.

Eric Church communicates something in this song that I have been wanting to put into words for quite some time now. It is definitely worth our pondering. First you need to listen the song above in blue letters if you haven't.

Don't pretend like you don't have fun with that part Hollynn likes either! It's so catchy!

In this song, Eric Church goes back in his past to a concert he went to with a group of friends. During the course of the night he falls for one of the girls (1st verse) and the concert turns into his first date with her. Although the relationship only lasted about two weeks, he admits "to this day when I hear that artist's song, I think about her. I don't even think I could tell you her last name, but I still see her and think about her." Thus the chorus, "when I think about you, I think about 17, I think about my old jeep, I think about the stars in the sky. Funny how a melody sounds like a memory, like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night."

I know this is true in my life and your life as well. You can hear one song that could take you back a couple of months. You could even hear another that takes you back ten or twenty years. Peter Zavadil, director of the short film ("Mixtape") about this song, says it "reminds me of the songs that we listened to as kids that were the soundtracks to our lives. I can still listen to certain songs and be instantly brought back to periods of my life.” Can't you relate?! If "Back Where I Come From" by Kenny Chesney came on right now, I would take a trip down memory lane so fast I wouldn't know what hit me!

Some of these songs take us to a good place. Others take us to a not so good place. Only you can determine that. Only you and the Lord know where you should and should not go. Be obedient.

Music is powerful. It always has been and always will be. The Bible testifies to this truth. We find songs all throughout the Bible. Many of them are recorded in the Psalms, however, there are a few others like the song of Moses in Deuteronomy 32 and the song of Deborah in Judges 5. These songs were sung at significant times and undoubtedly were sung over and over to intentionally take the people back to those good times to remember what the Lord had done for them.

Even Mary cried out in song (Luke 1:46-55) praising "God my Savior" upon visiting with Elizabeth. Shortly after the birth of Jesus "there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom He is pleased'" (Luke 2:13-14). Do you think the angels just mumbled that in some boring, monotone voice? I highly doubt it! Do you think the creatures around the throne that never cease to say "Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come" (Revelation 4:8) are about to fall asleep they are so tired of saying that? I think not! These are songs that are significant. These are songs that can take people to those places.

God made us this way. He made us to "praise Him with trumpet sound, lute, harp, tambourine, dance (yes the Bible does say to praise God with dance!!!), strings, pipe, sounding cymbals and loud clashing cymbals" (Psalm 150:3-5).

I hope you know that music matters. You can choose to listen to whatever makes you feel good. You can choose to listen to music that takes you back to those nights filled with sin and disobedience or you can choose to listen to music that takes you back to memories of what God has done in your life. One of these songs for me right now is "Live Like That" because it is the song that we put Heath's slideshow to. (As soon as he gets home I will be able to share that slideshow online but I can't right now unfortunately.)

Whatever or wherever music takes you back to, make sure it is pleasing to the Lord Jesus. One song leads to one memory, one memory leads to one mistake, and one mistake could turn your life upside down. It's funny how a melody sounds like a memory, like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night.